I had no burning desire to write a novel, but by the end it was such great fun. Making things up always is, not only that, there is a lot of solar hate facts woven into the narrative, so hopefully readers will learn something. I started off following the Solomon’s Mines story and occasionally use some elements of the original paragraphs. I had thought that it was possible to just cut and paste the Victorian text, but that was never going to work. This meant an intensive six months on and off. Updating everything was not easy, but the slightly bonkers and far fetched Solomon meant that there was lots of plot points to improvise on. Plus there are cars.

If anything spoiled King Solomon, it was the lack of cars. Mainly because they had not been invented yet. I have fixed that and we do have the world’s first electricity vehicle chase. An inevitable E39. Several remarkably modified Mitsubishi Shoguns. Some military stuff and the odd hot hatch. Some Chinese SUVs don’t fare well though.

The hero (Alan Quarterpounder) is an old car dealer who just happens to be the same age as me, but I am not as foul mouthed, or capable as him in a tight spot. The original hero by Haggard with Allan Quatermain, was quite an old bugger by the standards of the time. I also did not realise until the other day, that his character had been repurposed from the many Haggard books he appeared in, to become Sean Connery in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. A film I rather like. My book isn’t as good as that, but at least there was an improbably huge car in that. And a submarine. And a Vampire. And Dorian Gray. And Jekyll. And Hyde. And an Invisible Man. All lead by the man Quatermain. The interesting thing is that once you create characters and I have come up with brand new versions of the old ones they do start talking to you and weird things like that. That probably explains why this book contains rude words. So please don’t buy it for an impressionable teenage reader, even though they probably know all these words and references. There is no sex I reckon that cars and some ancient military equipment should be exciting enough really.

Why King Solomon’s Mines with Cars or Mad Millivolts Solar Factories’?

The Great English countryside is being carpet bombed by Solar Panels. These are not farms, they are factories. Legendary author Sir Henry Rider Haggard would be horrified to see what they propose to do in the village he was born in. The largest Solar Factory in the country, 4,000 acres is at the planning stage. I have lived in Haggard’s beautiful village of Bradenham for over 30 years. I decided to draw attention to this vandalism by rewriting one of Haggard’s most famous stories. Not sure if anyone will really care about this, but I went to a lot of bother and it costs from just a couple of quid to find out whether it is rubbish or not.

The Plot of King Solomon’s Mines with Cars or Mad Millivolts Solar Factories’

King Solomon’s Mines was a rollocking Victorian adventure. This isn’t. For reasons best known to the author, he’s decided to take H.Rider Haggard’s classic and completely ruin it by updating the story for modern times. There is also a ton of unnecessary swearing, loads of stupid cars, but possibly less violence than the original. There are car chases though. Car Dealer Alan Quarterpounder recounts his bizarre mission to find a missing journalist and solve the mystery of Mad Millivolts Solar Factories. Unlike the original the action does not take place in the majestic, colourful and wild animal packed South Africa but in the back end of beautiful East Anglia. Along with the improbably nick named The CEO and Cap’n Birdsaye, join Quarterpounder in a full scale battle with thousands of Hippies and a WW2 tank. There are Chinese Spies, bent MPs, a pretty lady, billions of quids worth of treasure. And some noodles.

That is the clean version of what this book’s about. There is loads of swearing, I am sorry, it just happened that way.

King Solomon’s Mines with Cars or Mad Millivolts’ Solar Factories Paperback £9.99

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1068493917#

King Solomon’s Mines with Cars or Mad Millivolts’ Solar Factories PDF Download £2.00

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